Everybody is utterly bored with the fake news. If it’s not Covid-19, its clueless politicians or football matches with fake crowds. Not a brass band in sight – except for those lucky Manx people who are, apparently plague free, and virtual brass banding knitted together like a musical sock. So, what have we learned from this awful pandemic? […]
I have lost count of the number of times I have heard a stupid request just as the band are about to register. “Has anyone got a small screwdriver or an elastic band?” “Hang on – I’ll just check my shirt pocket…Nope…just a mole wrench and a Black and Decker WorkMate sorry.” It makes you […]
Ten-year-old Barry Trotter is an orphan who lives in the Yorkshire village ‘Lack o’ th’ Silverware’ with the Worsleys: his uncaring Aunt Begonia, horrid Uncle Virgil and spoiled Cousin Walter. One day a letter arrives in his bedroom under the stairs where he is practicing on his cornet. Before he can open it, Uncle Virgil […]
The full course The next time you are sat on a contest stage take a quick scan of the wildlife in the audience as it can be quite revealing. The crowd is fairly transient drifting in, for the good performances and out for the ‘cuppa tea’ bands. But! there are some hardened, dedicated watchers that […]
Brass bands invest a ridiculous amount of money to buy and maintain a set of instruments which should be revered, pampered and treated like the Crown Jewels. Alas there are some mechanical freaks who treat these magnificent contraptions with utter contempt. You can forgive very young learners to a certain extent and excuse the odd […]
It is an inevitable truth that at some point in your brass career you will have to stop playing. But when will you know when that time has come? Here are ten indicators that should give you a subtle hint… Tuning slides that move constantly While the conductor is tuning the band he is forever […]
One cold Christmas Eve in the band room the central heating has been turned off and icicles hang off the noses of every player. Eb Scrooge, the band’s conductor has insisted on a rehearsal for the forthcoming area and not a Christmas carol in sight. Bob Crochet, principal cornet, pleads on behalf of the shivering […]
Christmas comes but once a year – isn’t banding fun! Are you festive or a Grinch when carolling’s begun? The band manager joyfully announces the fund-raising schedule for December. You look at the never-ending list with dismay and begin to doubt that there are only 31 days in the last month of the year. “Death […]
With the recent Armistice Day marching events that most brass bands have some involvement with it got me thinking. ‘Old Comrades’, ‘Scipio’ or ‘Sons of the Brave’ in the comfort of the band room is one thing but marching and playing – it’s a death-defying feat! A heart rate of 60 – 80 bpm while […]
As the most farcical Westminster pantomime of all time continues without an end in sight what happens to us lowly brass banders in the fallout of Brexit? What if Boris ‘I’d rather die in a ditch’ Johnson clinches a deal, Jeremy Corbyn falls off his fence or the remainers get their way and celebrate with […]
